Problems dating an extrovert
Introverts, as a general rule, take one look at extroverts and want to go take a nap. Just contemplating the idea of being so overwhelmingly social all the time is enough to make an introvert feel exhausted. That said, sometimes opposite can attract and leave introverts dating extroverts. There is nothing wrong with this arrangement, and many couples are very happy.
Here's How to Date an Introvert When You're an Extrovert
Opposites attract, right? Sure, but they can also drive you nuts. My husband and I spent a whopping whole year in marriage prep we actually took it pretty seriously before we tied the knot, but we are still routinely running into little glitches derived from the fact that we have two very different personalities. Fortunately for us, most of the tension thus far has been solved by fully accepting one small thing: Since extroverts tend to get more attention than our fellow introverts—afterall, statistically, there are more of us—here are four of my epiphanies about introverts that became game-changers for my marriage and made our home far happier.
As an extremely extroverted person, I come home from work ready to talk all evening long—even when I am exhausted. Human interaction is how I unwind and recharge, so when we were married and started living together, I was thrilled to have someone always there, all the time, ready to listen. Unfortunately for me, my introverted husband unwinds and recharges with quiet time often alone.
He does his best to listen—he really does—but after so much talking, he finally asserted one day that quiet time needed to be just that: He's a fairly social person, so he is happy to talk and go out with friends. He is also happy to let me talk his ear off for the first 30 minutes after I walk in the door as I process everything that happened in my day. But at the end of the day, he likes to read in silence or listen to a podcast before bed.
Over the past few months, I have had to learn how to give him this time when he needs it. Although I may walk into the kitchen after work immediately ready to share every detail of my day, my husband is rarely as ready to talk about his. Turns out, that's actually an unfair and inaccurate assumption. In the past few months, I have worked hard to be proactive in asking him about the things that I know are important to him.
Why was that your favorite part? Is this something you'd want to do again? That said, depending on the situation, he might not always be ready to share at that moment, just because I've asked. This can be a challenge for me. In fact, learning to navigate when and how to give that space has been one of our biggest challenges as a newlywed couple.
But I can assure you that the effort has been worth it! Being able to give my introvert even two to three minutes of space before we dive into working through a problem yields significantly better results than trying to push through an argument without giving him space to think about it. And, strange for me to realize, this need for space actually applies to good news too! I've realized that even if something wonderful just happened: It was fun! But sometimes, I felt like they weren't that good at listening and I'm pretty sure they felt the same about me.
He learned very quickly that letting me ramble sometimes is good for me—as a wife, as an employee And his natural ability to listen is always a solid reminder that I need to listen just as well, too. Happy couples don't just figure out how to manage personality differences, they also leverage them to make their relationship richer. But, in order for that to be possible, we first need to create an environment at home where both individuals can thrive.
If applied, these little reminders can fundamentally enhance your understanding of your partner, and consequently, help your relationship flourish. Because putting your friends at ease is one of life's greatest pleasures. Rather than worrying about the ideal amount of time to date before you get married, think about these things instead. You're bound to argue everyone does , but you need to learn to fight fair. As you meet your S. We took some proactive steps to improve our marriage and family life when kids arrived.
Home Relationships. But not all the time. Whether good or bad, your introvert needs space to process what just happened. Your introvert probably wants you to get better at listening. By Monica Gabriel Marshall. By Emily Mae Mentock. By Daniel Stewart. By Zach Brittle. By Kathryn Wales.
However, navigating the introvert-extrovert dynamic doesn't come without its challenges, especially when it comes to dating — but I've found a way to make it . Are you an introvert who's dating an extrovert? Speaking up may not be your forte, but staying mum will just leave you with worse relationship problems.
Initially, when dating, there is often attraction between introverts and extroverts since each partner consistently offers what the other is missing within their life and character. The extrovert can liven up the introvert and motivate them to take action, while the introvert can calm the extrovert down when needed and act as a steady source of quiet comfort. For the introvert who really wants to make things work with an extroverted sweetheart, here are some tips to help you do just that without going crazy. So here are our top tips:. Introverts use alone time to recharge their personal batteries.
Each individual has their own MBTI Personality Type, and their own way of perceiving the world, and understanding how Personality Type dynamics relate to a relationship can help keep both partners content. For example, Extraverts will often be drawn to the relaxed and nonchalant attitude of their Introverted counterparts, finding them mysterious in their ways of being not upfront about relationship issues right away.
As an introvert, I oddly find myself drawn to people who are much more outgoing than I am. The marvelous part about extroverts is they know how to dance their way around a conversation and peace out of a party without appearing rude.
17 Things to Know Before Dating an Extrovert
There's a lot of confusion about what saying you're an "introvert" actually means. It doesn't actually mean that you're always socially anxious, shy, a deep thinker, or hate parties. So after a long party, extroverts are buzzy and happy, while introverts are drained and need to go sit somewhere quietly for a while. Introverts like social time as much as the rest of the world: I'm in an introvert-extrovert relationship. My dude loves people and huge gatherings; after a day of meetings and eight lunch and coffee dates, he'll come home cheerful.
These Introverts and Extroverts Sound Off on the Struggles They Face Dating One Another
But do you really have the key to understanding extroverts? There are plenty of unhelpful myths about extroverts. This, in turn, can lead to vibrating on a low frequency that prevents successful Law of Attraction work. It also may lead to the obvious question… What is an extrovert? Plus, keep reading to discover our top tips for understanding extroverts. The hallmark of an extrovert is that they recharge their energy by being with others. They tend to lose that energy if they spend prolonged periods by themselves. But extroverts do still need time alone … At least now and again.
Dating Dos and Don'ts.
On the way, he also revealed that his coworker had two children under the age of 5. Kirstin was not happy. If you're an introvert like Kristin, you're probably nodding your head in agreement.
11 Things You'll Only Understand if You're an Introvert Dating an Extrovert
As far as personality types go, most people consider themselves either an introvert or an extrovert. While you can, of course, have the qualities of both, usually people feel they identify more with one than the other. Because these personalities are so different, it often turns into an introvert vs extrovert type of deal, where both kinds of people have trouble understanding the other person. To make things a little less confusing, though, there are some things extroverts want all introverts to know. When you think of an extrovert, you probably think of someone who is outgoing, loud, friendly — someone who is always the life of the party. This is kind of true, but what does it actually mean to be an extrovert? An extrovert gains energy from being around other people, while an introvert gains energy from being alone. So while extroverts do love to be social and be around all of their friends, they can still be shy. That said, extroverts and introverts can still be quite different, and that can lead to a lot of miscommunication. Here are a few things all extroverts want introverts to know:. That makes sense!
Help, I’m Dating an Extrovert
For example: After all, I often go out to meals by myself, sitting quite happily at my table in the restaurant with a book. I work as a writer — a solitary profession by every stretch of the imagination. I have no problem spending evenings on the couch, marathoning The Last of Us 1 or seeing what my Renegade Fem-Shepp is getting up to in a Mass Effect replay. My wife, on the other hand, is an introvert. She networks the way that other people breathe and can connect with people almost instantly.
10 Struggles Of An Extrovert Dating An Introvert
Every so often I get a message from a frustrated extroverted woman who is smitten with an introverted guy. Other questions that often come up are:. Below is the advice I typically give. You might find it surprising. Stop overcompensating and pursuing him. If you want a man who will treasure you, treat you right and make you feel like a lady, you need to shift from being dominant, pursuing, and trying to control things, into a more feminine energy ….
Understanding Extroverts: 9 Things You Need To Know About Extroversion
Instead of getting frustrated with these differences, it ' s important to understand and accept them to pave the path forward in your relationship. If you ' re still learning what extroverts are all about, here are seven things you should take to heart. The most important thing to understand about extroverts is that they are energized by their interactions with others. This can be baffling to introverts who need quiet time to recharge their batteries. Just sitting around and doing nothing can make them feel restless and anxious. Extroverts just don ' t cherish alone time the same way that introverts do.
12 Things Every Extrovert Who's Dated An Introvert Knows To Be True
Also like, please do not call me, ever. My boyfriend tends to be the homecoming king of every room he walks into. When we first started dating, I could feel myself becoming withdrawn in situations where he was thriving and I was miserable. I was envious of him. Girlfriend Of The Year Award!!!!! So we had to lay some ground rules. Sexy, am I right???
Opposites attract, right? Sure, but they can also drive you nuts. My husband and I spent a whopping whole year in marriage prep we actually took it pretty seriously before we tied the knot, but we are still routinely running into little glitches derived from the fact that we have two very different personalities. Fortunately for us, most of the tension thus far has been solved by fully accepting one small thing: Since extroverts tend to get more attention than our fellow introverts—afterall, statistically, there are more of us—here are four of my epiphanies about introverts that became game-changers for my marriage and made our home far happier.Can Introverts & Extroverts Have a Successful Relationship? - Tell My Story